Haiku Review: The Bridges of Madison County

Well hello there!! I know, I know, it’s been a long time. What can I say, I wandered. But now I am back, awakening this here blog from its long slumber.

I see that the last time I posted it was about ‘Far From Heaven’*, and my final thought was that I couldn’t wait to see the Kelli O’Hara and Steven Pasquale in ‘The Bridges of Madison County’, where they could play a couple who actually wanted to make out with each other instead of the sexless duo of ‘Far From Heaven’. Well, funnily enough on Wednesday I saw Bridges, and BOY HOWDY ARE THOSE TWO GOOD AT PLAYING A COUPLE WHO WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH EACH OTHER. Dayamn!**

But, as we all know, my general philosophy is never to talk about something when I could butcher an ancient form of Japanese poetry about it instead. So without further ado, some Haiku for ‘The Bridges of Madison County’:

It is freezing out
But on mid-45th street
It is steamy hot.

For real, Francesca.
Dump your family and their cow.
You’ve seen Robert’s abs.

So, we all agree
Whitney Bashor is a star
In the making, yes?

If the teenage boys
look like that, Iowa cows
Are full of Muscle Milk.

You know that a show
Has hit your heart when the tears
Start to hit your boobs.

Jason Robert Brown
Between this, Parade, 13…
Uch, I can’t even.

A great love story
For eternity and more
Is me and this show.

*Go back to my haikus about Far From Heaven, the first one absolutely applies here too. That Kelli O’Hara, man. She just sings right to your heart.
**I thought of a line I love regarding this particular heat, but it is far too filthy to post in public and I don’t want to scandalize my proper WASP ancestors. So if you’re curious and you see me around, ask me and I’ll tell you.