For thirteen happy years of my life, I was a student at the Brearley School, a private girls’ school with a sterling reputation, an august history, and a truly unfortunate mascot (the beaver. It’s an all-girls’ school. Yup.) In a few weeks I will be attending my ten year reunion (and speaking at an assembly about life ten years after graduation – I am slightly worried that I have been included to serve as the ‘arts hobo cautionary tale’). When I hopped online to send in my RSVP, I noticed something interesting. For you see, Brearley does have some very impressive alumnae, but given the sheer number of titles available to identify yourself with, it seems I underestimated just how diverse the paths their alumnae have walked. Here are the options:
It’s especially kind of Brearley to include so many male titles, for though it is an only female school, it is important not to potentially offend the many students who may graduate, realize they are transgendered, then realize they are called to catholic priesthood, or perhaps inherit a viscountship, or realize that they are, in actuality, French. But I ask you, Brearley, what do you have against Empresses, Pharaohs and Maharajadhiraja Bahadurs, hmm?