The Last Scene of ‘Les Miserables’, Reimagined.

11 Mar

This is inspired by the recent broadcast of the 25th Anniversary Concert of ‘Les Miserables’, and by something that has always bothered me about the end of the show.

 

(VALJEAN’s room in France. VALJEAN is frail and fading. COSETTE is there, weeping, and NICK JONAS AS MARIUS holds her, expressionless. FANTINE has appeared and is singing to VALJEAN.)

 

FANTINE

TAKE MY HAND, I’ll LEAD YOU TO SALVATION

(EPONINE enters)


FANTINE AND EPONINE

TAKE MY LOVE, FOR LOVE IS EVERLASTING

 

VALJEAN

I AM READY FANTINE!

(Whispers to FANTINE)

But, um, who’s your friend?

 

FANTINE

(Also whispering)

She’s not with you?

 

VALJEAN

I don’t think so. I assumed she was with you.

 

FANTINE

No, she just showed up with the harmony line.

 

(FANTINE and VALJEAN stare at EPONINE. FANTINE and VALJEAN look at each other. FANTINE shrugs.)

 

VALJEAN

(To EPONINE)

So hey… you! I was just wondering, given the circumstances… do I know you?

 

EPONINE

I don’t think so. I was sort of wondering what I was doing here.

 

VALJEAN

You don’t have a special message from the beyond for me or something? Some candlesticks maybe?

 

EPONINE

Sorry, no. Just hanging out in your projected subconscious, apparently.

Actually, wait, I think I did deliver a letter to you once. For your daughter, during the whole barricade thing. You probably thought I was a boy…

 

VALJEAN

Oh….right, sure. The letter. Yeah, thanks for that.

(pause)

So…. I guess you died, huh?

 

EPONINE

Yeah.

 

VALJEAN

That’s too bad.

 

EPONINE

Thanks.

(EPONINE, FANTINE, and VALJEAN stand awkwardly for a bit. EPONINE looks at NICK JONAS AS MARIUS.)

Ooohhhh, I get it. (To FANTINE) You’re here to take him to the afterlife, so I must be here for Marius! I’ll just go get him and you guys can continue with your dying.

(EPONINE starts in the direction of NICK JONAS AS MARIUS).

 

FANTINE

Actually, Marius is still alive.

 

EPONINE

He is? But he’s so blank and expressionless, I just assumed.

 

FANTINE

No, he’s just like that. We think it might be a performance choice.

 

EPONINE

(Standing in front of NICK JONAS AS MARIUS, waving a hand in front of his face. He remains totally blank.)

Wow. That’s almost impressive!

 

VALJEAN

It is until you try to act with him. So, now that we all know each other, can we get on with things maybe?

 

FANTINE

Of course.  Now where were we? Oh, that’s right.

 

FANTINE AND EPONINE

TAKE MY HAND, I’LL LEAD YOU TO SALVATION

TAKE MY LOVE, FOR LOVE IS EVERLASTING

AND REMEMBER, THE –

 

(LILY from ‘The Secret Garden’ enters)

LILY

COME TOOOOOOO MY GARDEN

REST THERE IN MY ARMS…

 

FANTINE

Wait, who are YOU?!!?!

 

LILY

I heard this was the place for musical theater ghosts to be.

 

VALJEAN

Oh, this is ridiculous.

 

EPONINE

Hey, maybe it’s not so bad – you didn’t have a single date your entire life, apparently, and now you get three ladies leading you into the beyond!

 

VALJEAN

Excellent point! Lead on, ladies!!

 

(As they start to walk off, BILLY BIGELOW enters)

BILLY BIGELOW

WHEN YOU WALK THROUGH A STORM

HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

AND DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK

 

VALJEAN

Oh, come ON!!!!

 

EPONINE

Three ladies, and a studly carnival barker?

 

VALJEAN

(Thinks about it. Looks at BILLY BIGELOW.)

Even better!

(EPONINE, FANTINE, LILY, and BILLY BIGELOW cheer. They start heading out.)

 

BILLY BIGELOW

Let’s go quick – I saw Jud Fry on his way here.

 

 

 

END

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2 Responses to “The Last Scene of ‘Les Miserables’, Reimagined.”

  1. Duckface March 22, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

    That was delightful. More please. Rewrite the end of Merrily, would you? You would be doing the entire world of theater geeks a favor

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Mes Réflexions Sur ‘Les Miserables’ « Bloggledygook - December 31, 2012

    […] And I’m so glad they didn’t have Eponine come back with Fantine for Valjean – as previously discussed on this here blog, I always thought that was […]

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