Um, Sorry, ‘No Strings Attached’ Poster, That is Not a Thing.

15 Feb

I am way behind on many of the things I have been planning to post about, but now that my schedule has gone from 60 to 0, lucky you guys! You will get my now two months out-of-date thoughts. Like this one: Here is the movie poster for the sexy new(ish) romantic comedy ‘No Strings Attached’, also known as ‘the movie starring Natalie Portman where she doesn’t peel off her own skin and have sex with Mila Kunis (she alas only has sex with Ashton Kutcher, which is a big step down, if you ask me)’. Anyhoo, this movie apparently used to be called ‘Fuckbuddies’, and I think if you look at what they ended up with, you’ll see evidence of the studio’s internal struggle.

Why yes, that tagline does say ‘can sex friends stay best friends?’ And, um, movie studio, sorry, but ‘sex friends’ is not a thing. This whole tagline sounds to me like something someone who doesn’t speak English very well would say – ‘you and zee boy, you are zee sex friends, non?’. Or perhaps the studio took the bold step of putting ‘fuck buddies’ into a google translator, translating it into another language, then translating that back and sticking it on the poster. In any case, eet ees a leettle peculiar, non?

Speaking of strange movie posters, this one is all over the NY Subway system:

And every single time I see it, all I can think is ‘THUMBS UP THE BUTT!! THUMBS UP THE BUTT!!!!!’ Because really, their thumbs are RIGHT AT THAT GIRL’S BUTT!! It looks like one of those Kids in the Hall skits where they would pretend to squish people’s heads with their fingers, except more uncomfortable. Couldn’t they have moved the girl back further so that she didn’t look like the goddess of anal penetration, rising from their fist bump like it was sea foam?

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3 Responses to “Um, Sorry, ‘No Strings Attached’ Poster, That is Not a Thing.”

  1. phoebems February 16, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

    Love love love this post. I have noticed two other things about the horrific posters:

    1. I believe we’re supposed to at least generally have the impression that Natalie Portman is putting on a “boyfriend shirt” – AKA, Ashton Kutcher’s cast aside oxford button down, because as everyone knows, that is a sexy thing that low-maintenance girls like NP do. But that is a women’s tailored shirt! So it just looks wierd.

    2. The main thing that peeves me about the Just Go With It poster has nothing to do with the girl’s butt. It’s the depiction of Aniston as a “bud” who is fist bumping Sandler, so clearly there is NO sexual interest between the characters and we are meant to see her as his (non-hot) best friend, but meanwhile, her dress is SO provocative and clearly we ARE supposed to think of her as his (she was always right in front of you) ultimate mate. I cannot – I repeat CANNOT – see this poster and say, “Oh gosh, I really hope he figures out that his BFF is actually the woman for him, and when will he realize how gorgeous she is – I guess she has to stop dressing so mannish and do something with her horrendous face/legs/hair so he starts seeing her as a woman and not just his football bud.” Grr

    • bloggledygook February 17, 2011 at 11:00 am #

      Totally agree with both your excellent points!! The trailer for ‘Just Go With It’ (which I watched when I had NO IDEA WHAT THE MOVIE WAS ABOUT from the poster) also has a scene when Jennifer Aniston and an obese woman in a lime green ruffled swimsuit are looking at the superhot lady, and the woman says “That woman right there is why we normal women are afraid to wear a bathing suit”. Sure, it’s a joke, but between this and Cougartown’s pilot, where Courtney Cox stood in front of a mirror with her insanely toned perfect body and (attempted to) play with her (nonexistant) arm fat, complaining about how she’s old and fat, I am getting really sick of these crazy hot ex-friends ladies being portrayed as over the hill.

  2. J-Bob February 27, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    When I first saw the poster, and several times thereafter, I actually read “SEX FIENDS”, which I thought sounded like a much more interesting movie than whatever bullshit they actually made.

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