Cold, Cold, Go Away

11 Nov

Hey, remember Autumn? Usually it’s this season that happens between summer and winter – it’s sort of chilly, and you have to wear some sort of intermediate jacket and scarf combo. No? Understandable, since this year the weather seemed to veer wildly from sweaty humidity directly into freezing chill, and instead of deciding which light jacket to throw on, it was more a question of whether you should wear your bikini or parka that day.

I used to be a cold weather person; although it might be a surprise considering my constant swarthy tan, my genetic background is ‘pasty people from climates where the sun rises for an hour’, and my skin tends to respond to sun and heat by turning confused and red – more fretting than sweating. However, then a certain Cats tour itinerary traveled from hemisphere back to hemisphere, catching each in the middle of the hottest months, and I adjusted. And now that winter is rolling back around, I have no other phrase than to say that I feel emotionally unprepared for cold weather. My hands are already dry and cracking, I can’t remember which hat isn’t itchy, and it’s still socially unacceptable to wear a snuggie outdoors (get ON it, societal rules!).

So, I have a proposal to make: Hibernation. No, really, think about it – you eat a huge amount, then snuggle in for a long winter, bypassing the worst weather and the February doldrums, to emerge sometime in April svelte and well-rested, ready to face a beautiful spring. In fact, I have already done some research, and have a list of simple rules:

1. Eat this:

2. Crawl into this (they’ll have to make some bigger versions):

(I might go for a really large version of this one, because it’s just so adorable:)

Because who DOESN'T want to look like they've been vomited out by a giant leopard-print fuzzy catfish?

3. See you in April!

Done and done.

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