Oh, Paris Hilton. I just don’t get you sometimes. Is it all a big piece of performance art, this strange persona of the almost aggressively dumb blonde? Is this your version of Maria Abramovic starting all sitters in the face – to make us watch what our American Culture has wrought? Do you too have the ability to not pee for nine hours? Or, if not, when you pee, does it smell like Barbies and the mall and stale day-old cosmos? Are you an incarnation of America’s love of gossip and clubbing and celebrity, risen from the Hollywood coast in a clamshell made of crappy tabloids?
But mostly, Paris Hilton, what look exactly were you going for here, at the launch of your newest perfume?
Were you going for ‘Marilyn Monroe 1955’? Because I gotta say, you got ‘Zsa Zsa Gabor 1985’ spot on.