The Wild Gone Wild

14 May

These days, we live in a world where there are cameras everywhere, and the photo that someone takes at a drunken party could end up costing you a job down the line when a potential employer spots it on facebook. Teenagers whose brains have not fully formed the decision-making portions are now making the bad decisions that teenagers have always made, but now there is the guy from ‘Girls Gone Wild’ there to document it, and the internet is there to make sure that it never goes away. At the same time, our society is full of the message that even young girls have to be sexy; suddenly girls who, fifty years ago, would still be in peter pan collars and Sunday school have profile photos that look like stills from a softcore porn film.

Well folks, I’m sorry to say that this epidemic of icky and disturbing sexyface has gotten worse. Much worse. You see, now it has gone…. interspecies. Yes, that’s right – take a look at this photo that was on petfinder, for a Brussels Griffon mix named ‘Della’:

Oh no, Della, no. You see, Della, I know it might seem like a good idea now to wink and lick your lips in your photo like that – you’re young, you’re cute, why not? But someday, Della, some nice Park Avenue matron or some nice family with a big backyard in Jersey is going to ponder adopting you, and reconsider when they see this shocking remnant of your past. Consider, Della. You’re only a puppy – don’t let something like this come back to bite you (sorry, I couldn’t resist) later.

This must be stopped. I mean, where will it end – studly reptiles?

Oh god, no. You know what? Forget I said anything.

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