XOXO to XXX

21 Jan

So they’ve released a new promo shot for the current season of Gossip Girl (which has been so ridiculous and boring at the same time that I stopped watching – honestly, can we just all agree that going to college means jumping the shark for shows set in high schools?) and perhaps you’ll notice the thing I couldn’t look away from:

Yes, apparently Elvira has bleached her hair and joined the cast!!

Okay, seriously, though, that scary strung-out white Goth vision in the nearly nude dress on the top row is not actually Elvira, but in actuality Taylor Momsen, a 16 year old actress who used to look something like this:

So, first of all, what happened? To be fair, I don’t know what the plots this season have had in store for Little J, but I did watch the season where she slept in a box on the street one night and tasted the club life, so I assume ‘Little J becomes a dominatrix/ druggie’ isn’t happening this year. And also, is it lame of me to say that whatever that image is (and I also concur that it’s highly, highly photoshopped), it’s supericky to have the most strung-out looking person in that group be barely able to drive? Don’t you look at that and want to immediately take Taylor Momsen home so she can hose off all that makeup, and then make her watch Disney films and go to sleep at a reasonable hour after a decent meal?

Also, what is the CW thinking? This is a terrible image just as an image – clearly they are going for edgy glam, but by having one person in the group be shining white, it is literally difficult to look anywhere else. The CW has been pretty horrendous with their promo shots before – anyone remember their photoshopping HALF of Blake Lively’s waist off in the first season? – and this one is no different; you can’t look away from the strung-out 16 year old with the heavy makeup and the awkward sexyface. And I think they don’t want you to look away, or to think that she looks healthy – notice the blush that features prominently on everyone else’s cheeks (a  blushing cheek, whether real or made up, is the difference between someone looking healthy and someone looking ill), while of the all the heavy makeup on Momsen, not a scooch of blush appears. Or the fact that everyone else in the shot is in dark colors, while she wears a washed-out cream. OR the fact that even her hair looks dried out and unhealthy. All of these things are easily fixable with the photoshopping wand that they so prodigiously wield. Which prompts the question of whether they are doing it on purpose to court controversy (and thus publicity) that their ‘oh no, Blair is unpopular’ plotlines can’t get?

In any case, yuck, CW, yuck. Why don’t you put your actual, healthy-looking stars front and center in your ad campaign (yes, that would be Blake Lively and Leighton Meester, both shoved together in the down left corner), and try to attract attention to yourselves by actually producing a better show? Hmm? Because I hope you know that if Taylor Momsen ends up in rehab, I will be holding you responsible.

P.S. UPDATE!! By popular request, here is the horribly photoshopped Blake Lively ad:

The brilliant Jezebel.com pulled a screen shot from the behind the scenes videos of the photoshoot, and did a side-by-side comparison of what Blake Lively actually looks like, and what they photoshopped her to look like:

Oof. Just, Oof.

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2 Responses to “XOXO to XXX”

  1. Slightly Larger J January 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm #

    It seems that the CW has made the regrettable decision to take inspiration from Elvira for Jessica Szohr’s hair in addition to their attempt to push Elvira/meth addict/my-first-peroxide-disaster chic with their Little J makeover

  2. Michael Bolgar February 6, 2010 at 7:24 pm #

    I was trained last season that if Little J has smokey eyes, that means shit is going to hit the fan. If the eye shadow goes away, that means everything is right with the world. So…be prepared for shit to hit the fan.

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