How do you solve a problem like bad puns

13 Aug

Everybody’s favorite famous-for-being-famous blonde, Heidi Montag Pratt, has officially completed the ’15 minutes’ trio (the first two steps being reality show appearance and extensive staged tabloid antics), and has appeared in a photo spread in Playboy. This in itself does not bother me at all; I sort of like Playboy for its old-school photo spreads and actually interesting articles combo, which seem almost gentlemanly today. What offends me is that the title for the spread is ‘The Hills are Alive.’ Which, at first, probably seemed clever considering that Heidi rose to her suspect fame on a reality show called ‘The Hills.’ And yet, what does it mean? Heidi was on ‘The Hills’ and is… alive? Really, Playboy? Maybe it’s a boob thing – like her boobs are hills and THEY are alive? That’s a stretch (and a scary thought). But my favorite is that the line since the line is a direct pull from ‘The Sound of Music,’ which is firmly embedded in the collective pop culture conscious, everyone who reads the headline will naturally end the line ‘…with the Sound of Music.’ Which itself has nothing to do with either Heidi Montag or Playboy or this photo shoot, which seems to have a California beach theme. The best I can think is ‘The Sound of Music’ is set in the Alps, and Heidi’s name is undeniably Alpine. But if that’s the connection, they missed their chance to feature some sexay lederhosen, is alls I’m sayin’.

But seriously, Playboy, you should be ashamed. This spread’s headline is as well thought-out as Spencer Pratt’s creepy pubey facial hair.

P.S. Notice the photos in which she is standing in front of the curtains – you just know she’s pondering ripping those suckers down and making Spencer a play outfit.

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