Haiku Review: Snow White and the Huntsman

14 Jun

Hi All!
It’s officially summertime, and the living is easy. Which for me means I have what seems like an interminable amount of time between the show opening (‘Once on this Island’ at the Paper Mill – go see it), and grad school starting up its second semester. So of course I should have plenty of time to write, and learn new skills, and focus on things like what I want to do with my life. And instead, I pretty much putter around the internet and eat so many meals a day Hobbits would be impressed. But I have managed to crack out a few haiku in honor of the film ‘Snow White and the Huntsman’, or, as I’m sure it wants to be called, ‘Lord of the Twi-Avatar’. Enjoy!

For youth, eat the young.
For potential big awards,
Eat the scenery.

I would wear each one
Of the Queen’s crazy outfits.
I worry for me.

The Queen’s weird Brother
Placed under a separate curse
By Vidal Sassoon.

Awesome Chris Hemsworth
Please be in every movie.
But don’t bring your shirt.

Hunky Chris Hemsworth
Our kids would be mole-children.
I’m okay with that.

A single Dinklage
Tops seven dudes CGI-ed.
One real, badass dwarf.

Oh Kristen Stewart.
I have no haiku for you.
Because you’re just, meh.

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